Me too.

And I do have an idea.

Most of the people in this thread I have found something nice about. I have enjoyed their company or their comments somewhere on Tribe.net. But I don't see everyone getting along with each other.

I got a PM mentioning how I had developed into a nice Tribe personality. Something like that. And I responded that it wasn't so much ME that changed. It was other people's perceptions, as well as my life circumstances.

When I joined Tribe the first time, it was to work on my social skills. Ha! And my mum was dying of cancer. It took over a year, I think, before she died. The year anniversary of her death passed recently. Who do you think was the person who I was talking to that night? Leaning on a bit, finding comfort in just talking about this and that? Satan. Yes. Really.

He was one of the people who believed me the least, for a long time. Didn't believe that someone could live isolated or not know all these common (to everyone else) terms. Or that I didn't get a lot of references. It's not because I'm stupid, and it's not because I am trolling. It's because of my brain, I guess, and how it works. It's ALWAYS been this way for me. I am always naive and trusting, and yet I have reasons not to trust, so I am often torn.

Nevertheless, because of just how I am, I get to see how people can be, or get glimpses into who they are. While I might not get one thing, I get something else that nobody is seeing or recognizing.

I'm not being picked on right now for being different or weird. So I don't have to defend myself or go to war in every single tribe I'm in. Because I am not at war with anyone. And everyone gets to see "me" being "ME". Me without defending. Me without panicking. Me without falling apart about my mum or about being picked on.

There's a whole bunch of people that used to pick on me. Just as there are people that pick on Satan. And pick on others too. They might pick on someone new. They might pick on someone they used to be friends with. And if that person responds to try to set the record straight or to defend themselves, it ends up as a big fight.

I know. I know because many people didn't like me just because of a reputation and gossip and rumors. And if all they saw was the miserable me, no wonder they didn't like me. I didn't like me either!

Many people wouldn't even give me a chance. One of those "I heard about YOU" things.

Is that any different that what is going on here, now?

I used to liken how I felt by using an analogy. I felt like I was being attacked by a pack of wild wolves. Just me, against a huge number. One or two would zoom in to bite while others snarled. So, yeah, I'm flailing about trying to protect myself. And it looks like all of the people are attacking wolves. I can't really see far enough beyond the pack to notice several happy, wagging tailed dogs. And if they approach, I would probably flail at them too.

There's no way that the happy wagging tailed dogs can possibly expect that person who is being attacked by a pack of wolves to be friendly. Many of those happy dogs growl at the person too. Did it ever occur to people that if you are constantly attacked by wild wolves AND by supposedly friendly happy dogs that the striking out at all dog-like creatures will occur? Sure it will.

And it's inevitable that we will all step on each other's toes eventually. I think that's what toes are for. Otherwise we'd have hooves. uh... forget that part.

More tail wagging. Less snarling. Less biting. Watch for toes. Try to flail less. Realize that you may ONLY be seeing the part of the person that is flailing with weapon-like words or snarling with pointy-teeth words. There is more to each of us than those two things. Really. There is.